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NOVEMBER 1999 | VOL. 3, NO. 11



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MARK FUSCO is the official Renaissance Online Magazine Top 10 Lister. For even more belly laughs, please visit Adventures of Peyote Coyote.




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Top Ten Signs You're Having a Bad Thanksgiving

MARK FUSCO

10. It takes you 3 days to pass the pop-up timer you accidentally swallowed
9. Uncle Wally gets really drunk and tries to "stuff" the turkey
8. Football is pre-empted by "Martha Stewart and Kathie Lee Gifford's Holiday Jamboree"
7. Aunt Mildred brings the 150 slides from her trip to the Kleenex factory
6. White meat...dark meat...green meat???
5. You hear a faint "gobble" as the turkey is carved
4. TV's in the shop and Gramps has a hankerin' for some country line dancing!
3. Cousin Morty's pre-dinner Grace is ended with "...and may all these people at this table rot in Hell!"
2. Pumpkin pie is made from the rotted Jack-o-Lantern that's been sitting on your front porch since mid-October
1. Those ain't giblets!

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