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OCTOBER 1999 | VOL. 3, NO. 10



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Top Ten Signs You're Having a Bad Halloween

MARK FUSCO

10. The popcorn ball in your bag has an expiration date of 1974
9. The ghost costume you made out of some old bed sheets has the Care Bears all over it
8. At your friend's party, they run out of apples so you have to bob for radishes
7. After asking "Trick or Treat," your obnoxious neighbor responds with a wedgie
6. The local store has a shortage of Darth Maul costumes and an abundance of Jar Jar Binks
5. Your friends comment on your scary mask...you're not wearing one
4. You later find out that your father was not wearing a mailman costume
3. Neighbors run out of candy early...your bag is filled with IOUs
2. Your Teletubbies costume gets confiscated by Jerry Faldwell
1. Chocolate = zits

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