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AUGUST 1999 | VOL. 3, NO. 8



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MARK FUSCO is the official Renaissance Online Magazine Top 10 Lister. For even more belly laughs, please visit Adventures of Peyote Coyote.




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Top Ten Signs You're a Game Show Junkie

MARK FUSCO

10. Your cable package is so cheap because it's the Game Show Network - and nothing else
9. One night you had the strange, irresistible urge to mold a mound of mashed potatoes into a bust of Alex Trebek
8. Your neighbors have repeatedly called the cops when you scream at the old ladies on Wheel of Fortune who just don't know when to buy a freakin' vowel!
7. The dog hides under the bed every time he hears Bob Barker say, "Have your pet spayed or neutered!"
6. You wake up sweating in the middle of the night screaming "No Whammies! No Whammies!"
5. In high school you were voted "Most Likely to Get Molested on National TV by Richard Dawson"
4. At dinner time, the family has to choose what's in the oven or what's underneath the box
3. Your doorbell is actually a large, red buzzer
2. Your friends hate you because you answer all their questions in the form of a question
1. At weddings you don't throw rice at the bride and groom - you throw Rice-a-Roni

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