Top Ten Darth Vader Secrets Exposed During the New Star Wars Movie
10. | Regrets ever letting the Mir engineers design the Death Star |
9. | Lost out to the pink bunny for the Energizer mascot gig |
8. | He's not Y2K compliant |
7. | His career in evil universe domination nearly destroyed forever after his alleged "incident" with an Ewok hit the tabloids |
6. | The Imperial Emperor is really his crazy uncle Wally |
5. | Got suspended from Jedi Knight school for constantly making the light saber "whoosh" noise during class |
4. | For kicks, he and his buddies like to drink lots of beer and go Jabba the Hutt tipping |
3. | With his deep voice and heavy breathing, his high school guidance counselor thought he had a future in phone sex |
2. | Likes to go to bars and pick up chicks using the Jedi Mind Trick |
1. | His wife died tragically when she mistook his light saber for her "magic fingers" |