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MAY 1999 | VOL. 3, NO. 5



ALSO | Titillating Direct Marketing

When Baseball Was Baseball


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PETE GRADOWSKI is a contributing writer to Renaissance Online Magazine.



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America the Beautiful?


Isn't America a great country? We have a president who lies. This same man bombed another country to get attention off of him for awhile about this whole Lewinsky thing.

We have a corrupt police department that has agendas and quotas. They are racist and arrest people based on stereotypes. If the assault and batter someone they get a slap on the wrist, and later get cheered on by their buddies.

We have high school students having babies, which only adds to our housing problem. My city has recently built apartment houses on the light rail station near my house. These residents are expected to pay twenty five hundred dollars a month. That's only for the cheap apartments. It overlooks the beautiful Lake Almaden which is really a pond. Kids relieve themselves in it, mercury contaminates it, and it is only about 4 feet deep. Where can I get an application?

We have presidential elections that don't matter. The electoral college picks the president. It's not fair to begin with. It's just a popularity contest.

My neighborhood used to have a bunch of mom and pop owned stores. They have all been bought out by major companies. I see Starbuck's on every corner, as well as Jamba Juice, and McDonalds. Everyone is out to make a buck. The real meaning of life is how much money you are worth. Morals mean nothing. Many small computer businesses are established in the hope of getting bought by Microsoft.

Culture had been replaced with Action movies, with no plots. These movies are one step up from porn. All movies now are either porn thinly disguised or remakes of old television shows. They are currently planning to make a live action Scooby Doo film. We already have the Brady Bunch, and sequel under our belts. If all else fails we can always remake classics. Gus Van Sant remade "Psycho"...shot by shot.

Prices are rising. How do we celebrate? Let's recreate dollar bills. There are new 20's, 50's and 100's. That's not good enough. Let's redesign coins. Coins! The mint is now creating new quarters with different designs on the back. One design for each state, released in the order the states entered into the union.

America the Beautiful. My ass. It's corrupt, and they are just very good at hiding all the flaws. We as a people don't know half the things that are going on in the government. I have to go look at my new dollar bills. Maybe they'll redesign the penny next. Won't that be great?

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