food for thought logo

NOVEMBER 1998 | VOL. 2, NO. 6



RECENT THOUGHTS A Recipe that Can Not Fail


UP NEXT | Deep Thoughts


Aethist No More...: In August, 16-year-old Josh Hempel of Calgary, Alberta, was arguing that God doesn't exist and thought he would prove his point by inviting lightning to strike him down if he was wrong. Shortly after, Hempel was hospitalized after being struck by lightning. He has recovered his health - and probably at least a shred of faith.




Exceptions to the Rule


English is a crazy language...for generations elementary school children, not to mention the average adult, have become confused by the inconsistencies in the English language. No other modern language has so many exceptions to every rule. It seems that for every grammar rule book, there is a need for two books refuting the items found in the primer. In that light we present some oddities...

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England... or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies... while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that:

  • quicksand can work slowly
  • boxing rings are square
  • a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

    And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing...

  • grocers don't groce,
  • and hammers don't ham?

    If the plural of tooth is teeth...

  • why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
  • One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 ... meese?

  • One index, two indices?
  • Is cheese the plural of choose?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

    If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

    In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

  • Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
  • Have noses that run and feet that smell?
  • Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same...

  • while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
  • How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

    When a house burns up, it burns down.

  • You fill in a form by filling it out,
  • and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

    When the stars are out, they are visible ...

  • but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
  • And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it...
  • but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

    * * * *