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JULY 1999 | VOL. 3, NO. 7



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The Skewed Scales of Justice

An alert reader sent over a list of state laws that are, to put it mildly, a little absurd. Of course, it is impossible for us to check the validity of each of these laws, but some of them are too ridiculous to be fake. We would like to take a moment to present the age-old saying that fact is stranger than fiction with the following legal workshop as proof positive. The glorious and powerful scales of justice are seen as a symbol of balance and order; in these cases Ms. Justices' scales are slightly off-kilter and she can be heard softly giggling behind her blindfold.

NEW YORK -
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

NEW JERSEY -
You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service only.
In Ocean City, it is against the law to slurp your soup at a restaurant.

CALIFORNIA -
It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
Women may not drive in a house coat.

FLORIDA -
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

OHIO -
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

KANSAS -
Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
No one may catch fish with his bare hands.

OKLAHOMA -
Violators can be arrested and/or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
State law prohibits anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.

ALABAMA -
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. Really.

WISCONSIN -
In Racine, it is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.
Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.

VIRGINIA -
It is illegal to sell peanut brittle on Sundays.
Flipping a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for coffee is outlawed.

TEXAS -
It is illegal have more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
It is illegal for person to go barefoot without first obtaining a permit.

ILLINOIS -
It is against the law to use a slingshot unless you are a police officer.
Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.

IOWA -
Public kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
One-armed piano players must perform for free.

WASHINGTON -
It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.

MASSACHUSETTS -
Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.

ARIZONA -
It is illegal to hunt camels within the state borders.
In Tucson, women may not wear pants.

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