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JANUARY 2000 | VOL. 4, NO. 1



Vice President Al Gore's uniquely misspoken soundbites


Jean jackets and Trans Ams: 80's Trivia


Search Renaissance Online


New Way of Thinking for a New Year

Well, here we are; perched on the brink of a brand new year (notice the word "year" not "millennium." Everyone is resolving to make giant lifestyle changes and behavior modifications but, in fact, most won't last until Valentine's Day before falling flat on their face. According the the Society of Really Obscure and Made Up Statistics, 92.3% of all people resolve to perform something truly outrageous like building a lifesize replica of the Space Needle out of Pokemon cards rather than biting off manageable tasks.

The easiest thing you can do in a new year is to look at the world in a new way. In fact, there are many handy catch phrases to help you do this: "The glass can be half full or half empty," "There are two sides to every story," and so on. Simply put, if you look at an old situation in a new way ("think outside the box"), you can effectively improve your thinking, creativity, life style or whatever you are tying to amend. After all, the world is an extremely subjective place built upon personal experience and perspective--changing your perspective can change your world (and without undertaking the world's first all sand and bean sprout diet).

The following is a collection of new (sometimes exaggerated) ways to look at some tired scenarios. These simple samples prove that a different color bulb will depict the world in a whole new light.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess--why can't it get us out?

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

I don't get even, I get odder.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out of money experience.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Not afraid of heights--afraid of widths.

Practice safe eating--always use condiments.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I am not a perfectionist. My parents were, though.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

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